I am back for a 2 week vacation where I learned something from the wise and powerful Reese’s Peanut Butter Egg.
Here’s the story, I was with my parents and we went out to eat once a day, didn’t have my normal fruits or veggies, had fro-yo (and ALL the toppings) twice, fried fish tacos with three times and I allowed myself to just go with it. No shame, no judgement, no overthinking, no over-exercising to ‘cancel’ out the carbs. I just made the whole thing NBD (no big deal).
See, I used to worry if I just “let go” of my control around food that I’d go crazy and eat everything in sight. While at first I did eat a lot of things I used to call “bad” or “unhealthy”, because it was no longer the forbidden fruit I gradually began to NOT CRAVE IT LIKE A CRAZY PERSON.
I began to fill big bowls of fro-yo, only to eat a few bites and put it back because I honestly and truly didn’t need or want anymore. There was no fear that I-had-to-eat-it-all-right-now-
One thing I have always LOVED is Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups but I would never allow myself to eat them, or only at Easter when I would gorge and gorge until I was sick, OR I would try to make a health-i-fied version with unsweetened dark chocolate and almond butter (not the same!!).
When I started legalizing all food, I allowed myself to eat them. As much as I wanted. Whenever I wanted. I had a bag in my pantry at all times. As I let go of the guilt and shame, I found that I didn’t NEED to eat them all the time. I had a bag that ended up sitting in my pantry for months.
This past week was Easter and my darling husband bought a big bag of the peanut butter eggs and guess what?
When I finally did eat one, again it was NBD. It was good. A little too sweet for me, but eh,it was ok, it wasn’t the orgasmic-mouth-experience I remembered. I finished it and have not had another one—NOT because I am exerting will power. NOT because I think it’s unhealthy. NOT because I am muscling my way through a sugar-detox.
Because I just don’t want one.
After I hit publish on this blog post today, I may decide I want one. Or two. Or the rest of the bag and you know what? That’s ok.