Hi Friends!

I am back for a 2 week vacation where I learned something from the wise and powerful Reese’s Peanut Butter Egg.

Here’s the story, I was with my parents and we went out to eat once a day, didn’t have my normal fruits or veggies, had fro-yo (and ALL the toppings) twice, fried fish tacos with three times and I allowed myself to just go with it. No shame, no judgement, no overthinking, no over-exercising to ‘cancel’ out the carbs. I just made the whole thing NBD (no big deal).

See, I used to worry if I just “let go” of my control around food that I’d go crazy and eat everything in sight. While at first I did eat a lot of things I used to call “bad” or “unhealthy”, because it was no longer the forbidden fruit I gradually began to NOT CRAVE IT LIKE A CRAZY PERSON.

I began to fill big bowls of fro-yo, only to eat a few bites and put it back because I honestly and truly didn’t need or want anymore. There was no fear that I-had-to-eat-it-all-right-now-because-once-I-go-home-I cant-eat-this. I could have it anytime (not just vacation) so I didn’t need to eat it all right now.

One thing I have always LOVED is Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups but I would never allow myself to eat them, or only at Easter when I would gorge and gorge until I was sick, OR I would try to make a health-i-fied version with unsweetened dark chocolate and almond butter (not the same!!).

When I started legalizing all food, I allowed myself to eat them. As much as I wanted. Whenever I wanted. I had a bag in my pantry at all times. As I let go of the guilt and shame, I found that I didn’t NEED to eat them all the time. I had a bag that ended up sitting in my pantry for months.

This past week was Easter and my darling husband bought a big bag of the peanut butter eggs and guess what?

pb eggIt was NBD (no big deal). I didn’t eat one after another right away. It had no hold on me. No power. No seductive pull. Nothing.

When I finally did eat one, again it was NBD. It was good. A little too sweet for me, but eh,it was ok, it wasn’t the orgasmic-mouth-experience I remembered. I finished it and have not had another one—NOT because I am exerting will power. NOT because I think it’s unhealthy. NOT because I am muscling my way through a sugar-detox.

Because I just don’t want one.

After I hit publish on this blog post today, I may decide I want one. Or two. Or the rest of the bag and you know what? That’s ok.

 

This experience has taught me that I can trust myself in ALL situations. And even if I eat a bag of Reese’s eggs, even if I eat fried fish tacos, even if I have fro-yo, I will still be ok. I will still be enough. I will still be loved.
So, despite the fact that I am more permissive with my food than ever (allowing myself to eat anything I want without guilt) I find myself craving and loving smoothies, missing big crunchy salads, and craving fruits and veggies.
Even after this vacation, even after allowing myself to eat all the food I want, I came home and craved fresh, healthy foods that make me feel good when I eat them.
I can still be healthy without the obsessiveness, without the guilt and without TRYING. I trust my instincts and honor my cravings. The less I try to control food, the less it controls me.
less control of food
Legalizing all foods doesn’t mean you will faceplant into a vat of ice cream and never crawl out. It doesn’t mean you will subsist solely on chicken nuggets, donuts or chocolate.
It just means you allow yourself out of the food prison YOU put yourself in. Instead of being at war with food, your hunger, cravings and body, you call a truce and being to develop trust in yourself and that my friend, is unconditional love.
Where are you in this journey? Have you legalized all food? Drop me a comment and let me know how you are.
If you want to hang out with some really amazing women and dig deep into this stuff regarding food, self-worth and body image, join the group! Instructions here.
Hugs,
Dr. Amber
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What a Reese’s PB Egg taught me about self-love

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